Posted by: Erica | September 29, 2009

Why am I doing this?

It’s a question I ask myself all the time, about important things–I remember agonizing over the answer on the morning of my wedding–and sometimes it’s a more mundane task.  Yesterday I caught myself in the act of processing why I routinely sweep my kitchen floor every day when my nearest friend or family member lives 12 hours away.  The answer wasn’t important, but the asking was.  I want to make sure that my life is lived consiously, don’t you? 

Getting caught up in the going on of things so much that we forget about where we are going is easy to do.  As the old addage warns us,  we lose sight of the forest for the sake of the trees.  I think I live like this most of the time; my best efforts to keep my life on task often fall short.  Consider my recent job crisis for example. 

Three months ago I started a job I thought would be the breakthrough of my career only to quit two weeks later.  I was being harassed by a hostile coworker and, unless I wanted to risk being the victim of a psychotic lab technician like that poor girl at Yale, I had no choice but to walk away.  

In the forest of my life, I had done some major tree-tending in the section called “career ambition”, and it felt as though I was watching a decade’s worth of work suddenly go up in flames.  But what I have learned in the aftermath is that even forest fires are a healthy part of nature.   By taking out some of the canopy overhead and burning up the decaying brush that accumulates on the ground, they clear the way for and allow more light to shine upon new growth.  And, most of the time, the change takes the forest in a direction more alligned with what God invisioned it to be in the first place, before worldly influence and invasion.



  1. more blog! please:)

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